My Little Litigator

I received a letter from Joey's teacher telling me of an incident in the cafeteria with another student. Apparently Joey asked for a friend to share his juice at which he refused. Joey seemed to be pretty upset by this and so decided to smash the kid's juice box and pour it in his lap. Hmm... I was pretty taken back. I went to talk to the teacher about this and called his dad. Joe told me that when he got home we would sit him down and have a talk. Joe and I had it down... this would be our first time to formally reprimand him. We discussed how we would approach it, what we would say and what his punishment would be.

Boy we're we in for a treat!

Joe got home and we started off as planned. However, as soon as we uttered what happened without question the tables were quickly turned as we found ourselves struggling to stay in control of this disciplinary action that turned into a conversation into a debate. It kinda went like this: (mind you this is a 5 year old!)

Parents: Joey, we were told by your teacher that you smashed a kid's drink and poured it in his lap.

Joey: Who saw it?

P: It doesn't matter who saw it, the point is it happened and that can't be tolerated.

J: But how do you know it happened? WHO? Who saw it???

P: (I didn't know) The lunchlady.

J: That's impossible. The lunchlady is at the end of the cafeteria and could not have possibly seen us from over there. (he goes into explain how many rows of lunch tables there are and where she stands.) So who saw it?

P: It doesn't matter, it could've been anyone walking by.. One of the school guards. We aren't discussing IF you did it. We know it happened and that can't happen again.

J: But HOW do you know? There are no guards walking around in the cafeteria....

He goes on talking and talking emphatically and busts out with this entire presentation of exactly what happened with who said what, how they were seated at the table and how the tables are arranged, complete with exhibits and how the juice "tipped" over onto his lap- you name it! My head was spinning... By this time Joe started to believe him.. (We had a debate about that later) and by the time it was finally over, we were so mentally exhausted, we just wanted to get out of the conversation. I don't even think he was punished!

I don't think I know a kid like this... I don't think we understand what we are in for. All I know is that he is smarter and faster than me, I can't keep up with him and if anyone thought I was argumentative, please try getting into a debate with my son!