How to convince your husband to have more children

Whether you are wanting your first baby or third, sometimes the biggest hurdle can be the hubby.  Let's face it.. they aren't maternal.  They don't understand.  They don't feel the way we do.  They don't have the same drive we have.  They weren't created with that gushy feeling of needing that bundle of joy.  So why do I see so many women letting the man dictate when and how many children come into the family with little to no resistance?  I am disheartened to see this and I would like to remind these women that you have more power than you think. 

This advice is not going to work for 100% of men.  There's a smaller percentage of men who don't need to be convinced.  This laid back and baby-happy type are few, but they are out there.   Then there's the small percentage that are just absolute in their idea to either not have children or only wants one or two.  There's no softening or changing their mind.  I would be a little concerned about the marriage where the woman has this little power, but that's another topic for another day.  I believe regardless of what the man's concerns are, the majority can be swayed.  This will work for about 70-80% of men.  Be smart and listen up.  These tips are for you. 

Of course, you must be sensitive to your husbands concerns about bigger families and financial burdens.  There's a point where we need to be reasonable.  Having children is an equal decision and it's important to respect that.  With that being said, there's no harm in a little help. 

#1.  Plant the seed

As soon as you feel that itch after you get married, mention having a baby.  You've probably already talked about it up to this point so you have an idea when the timing is right for you.  But if you need a little help, proceed with these steps.

For babies #2 and on: When you are pregnant, mention casually the next baby.  This is the time to do it.  Never talk about more babies than one more than you currently have.  If he asks you how many kids you want, just say, "I don't know.  We will see." Because actually this is the truth, you really don't know how many you want until you are at that number.  DON'T trap yourself.  Now, to him, mentioning the next baby while you are pregnant is going to seem crazy.  He will probably laugh.  Laugh with him.  If he asks if you are serious, casually say, "Sure".  Change the subject.
You can plant the seed more than once but I would suggest only up to a few times.  If you aren't sure you want any more children, do this any way.  You can always change your mind.

Two things about planting the seed.  1.  No matter how he responds, even if it hurts your feelings, don't get into with him. Don't worry if he says he doesn't want anymore kids... that usually doesn't mean anything. Stop taking his word for it.  Women do this a lot and it's a mistake.  Don't let it turn to an argument.  Brush it off.  Smile.  (I've seen a lot of women make this mistake.)

And 2. NEVER plant the seed when you have a newborn.  This is the most stressful time in a Dad's life.  Newborns scare men.  They are tiny.  They are fragile.  They are uber time consuming. Their cries and needs and diapers are very stressful to a man.  Your postpartum is stressing them out.  Babies cost a lot of money.  No matter how in love your husband is with your little one, don't bring up another baby.  Keep tight lipped about it and brush it off when friends or family asks you in front of him if you want any more kids.  "We will see."



#2.  Drop it. 

Don't talk about it anymore than this.  If he wants to, allow him but keep it light and not serious. 

#3. Clarify you are trying

Say whatever you intuitively feel and when you feel the time is right.  "I feel like it's a good time to start trying for a baby.  How do you feel about that?"  Or whatever you want.  This may take a few tries and conversations but remember, don't get hurt. Gently ease his concerns.  Don't argue.  Drop it.  Resume another time, softly.  When you get the green light, smile and kiss him. 

If you already have a baby or kids, wait till your baby is at least 1 before bringing up the next kid or when you see your husband is adjusting.  This is usually a good time for planting another seed.  Then bring it up again when you're ready down the road.  When a Dad has one in diapers, thinking about another can be a bit much.. so use your instinct. 

#4.  Leave him alone

After you both have decided to try, let it be.  This is so important.. I really can't stress this enough.  Remember, men don't feel the same way about having babies we do.  Stop treating them like they do, then get your feelings hurt when they say something insensitive or begin to have doubts.  They don't need to hear about all the particulars of your ovulating cycle.  They don't need to know about all the details of trying to conceive.  You don't need to keep reminding him that you are trying for a baby.  He knows. Don't take the fun out of sex.  Don't stress him out.  Buy as many ovulating tests as you want.  Shoot, make charts with highlighters, buy books, read articles.. Do whatever you want, but leave him alone! 

You have Facebook, your Mother, sister/s, friends, co-workers, etc to talk about babies and having babies and conceiving babies until you're blue in the face or the fingertips.  So use those outlets, but don't overwhelm your husband.  Fathers feel that bond when they hold their babies for the first time.. and it grows from there.  As the baby smiles and laughs and responds to his father, this bond and excitement grows within him.  Respect this and give him his space to nurture his bond with his child in his way.  He doesn't need to be as crazy as you are about having a kid before he has him!
As an example with us, the next time Joe hears about a baby after our "we are trying" conversation is when I tell him I'm pregnant.  Literally.

When you are pregnant, include him in your excitement as much as you feel is natural.  Try and follow the same concept of not overwhelming him.  All that baby stuff and gear is usually fun for men, but not too much.  Talk talk talk to your girls and leave the important stuff for him.  Use your intuition to gage how involved he wants to be.  They are all different.  Pay attention to when he quiets and how what you are doing is making him feel... take note and proceed from there.  (Don't ask him how he feels.  Men don't analyze their feelings and their origins.  Stop treating him like he's a woman. It's your job to observe and respond appropriately.  Goodness, it's like I need to write a book or something.) Allow him to come around and have a say and opinions, on his own.  Of course, don't squash his ideas.  Make this process of having a child fun, light and a good experience.  Make him feel important in every step of the way, without stressing him out by bombarding him with questions and details.  You aren't going to take all of the stress from him, but your behavior can greatly reduce it.


This step is very important in aiding in the process of having your next baby. 


You see, this advice is not about exercising your power or using manipulating tactics to get your way.  It's about using your intuition to ease the stressful stigma around having more children and being smart about timing.  A man can honestly believe he doesn't want any more children, but that can change because he doesn't know how he feels about having another kid until he has them.  A wife shouldn't want any more kids than is prudent for their situation and a man should be able to have his heart softened by his loving wife. 

Be smart and you can have your way.  That's my motto about being a wife.

Abortion, What We Cannot See

I've felt impressed to write on this subject for some time.  I think this is a good time in light of the Dr. Gosnell murder trial.  I'm very sensitive and grief-stricken when I even think about this subject.  Don't talk to me about rape and incest.  The only people who mention that are people who don't care whether it's done because of that or used as a means of contraception.  But yes, that is an exception.  Abortion is also a choice, just like you could choose to jump off a bridge or start doing crack - life is full of choices.

I'll get to the point.  Don't do it.  Whether you are the mother or the father, don't do it.  It's not worth it and you don't know what you're doing.  On so many levels; physically, spiritually, emotionally.  I wanted to share stories compiled by a dear friend of mine, a special lady and author named Sarah Hinze.  I've read her books and she has some of those stories on this website, They Remember.  She has devoted her life to making people aware of what it really means to end a pregnancy on a level we can't see as we are.  She has saved lives, changed hearts and played an instrumental role in preventing Partial Birth Abortion from being passed into law.  (With the exception of Illinois, our good man Obama personally made it possible for it to be legal for the 2 years he was Senator)

Please read the abortion category stories.  These special spirits feel it all. They feel the physical pain of being killed, the rejection, the loneliness during their journey back to heaven from whence they came.  Their stories are true.  They are aware of your struggles and the path you took to get to that crossroads.  But if you could see the bigger picture, that whatever burden in your life is making you feel that that choice is justified, you would see it is not a big deal in the big scheme of things. *please don't read the Burned and Healed story.  It's too horrific.*

Here's a story about a father... he was a man who blindly lived his life serving nothing and no one but himself.  His experience should be an eye-opener.

The majority of this problem would be taken care of if we kept sexual relations within marriage, as we have been commanded by God.  If a person ignores/rejects this guidance, at least know pregnancy is a real consequence and be willing to accept it.  The act of abortion severs the bond between mother and father and son or daughter forever.  Also, know that you are not a friend cause you want to be "non-judgmental" and support your friend in their decision to abort.  Would you give your friend a hug and drive them to the top of a mountain so they can jump off a cliff cause you want to be supportive for fear of seeming judgmental?  That's how stupid it is. You also don't know what you are doing and do not possess the power to heal those souls affected by that decision.  Be strong and always encourage your friends to do the right thing.  I know it's uncomfortable.  Also, you are not a hypocrite because you once made this mistake, you should however know better and strive to be that difference for someone else.

When my princess Sofia was 10 weeks along, I had a bleed. We feared she had passed.  Words cannot describe the joy my husband and I felt when during the sonogram we saw her little body jump, knowing she was still alive.  I was put on strict bed rest for 6 weeks, then gradually came off of it.  I dared not move from my bed any more than absolutely necessary.  My toddler and older child ran wild and we had to fly many family members out to help get us through that time.  The concern we felt for this little life inside of me was as great as if we held her in our arms.  I recall day after day praying and telling my little girl how much I loved her and how badly I wanted her; pleading with her to not leave me, that I would protect her and she would be safe.  I felt her great and noble spirit and I knew I always loved her.  I'm not exactly sure why I felt compelled to convince her to come to me, but I knew she needed to know it.  I literally cannot fathom the thought of deliberately choosing to have my child's life ended, literally for any reason. The idea is gut-wrenching and horrific to me.  That doesn't make me a good person, I just know better.  But it's not my job to judge anyone.  It's my job to share what I know is right, take it or leave it.  I also know that God loves each and every one of us completely, no matter what we've done.  If you have chosen this path in your life, please turn to God and reconcile with him so you can be happy.  Then let it go.  Being miserable and guilty for the rest of our lives because we made mistakes is not His plan for us.  He has the power to remove it from us.  I promise this wholeheartedly. 

Here's one excerpt from the website:

Aborted by Another

Our first baby was born a year and a half after our wedding date. He was perfect and dear. We were so blessed to have him.

With my love for children, I had daily helped tend my own younger siblings and by age twelve was an experienced “world-class” baby sitter. So I was pretty much already familiar with the demands of motherhood and the needs of children. It wasn’t long until I became aware that our son, Jimmy, had an unusual need for constant reassurance and comfort. Even when he was in my arms he seemed uncomfortable, searching for something I felt unable to provide him. I had never been around a baby that was so constantly upset.
I took him to several doctors and homeopaths. They all confirmed that Jimmy was developing properly and getting the nourishment and love he needed. This gave me a degree of relief. I concluded that I just had a more sensitive baby than most. My husband and I were so grateful to have him in our home. We would do whatever it took to make him feel whole. Still, his difficulties persisted.
After Jimmy outgrew the infant stage, he had adjusted to being happy and pleasant with me and somewhat with my husband, but he would never go to another person. My husband and I were the only ones who could keep him calm. We never dared leave him with a babysitter, but occasionally we left him with extended family members whom he knew well. Still, he had horrible crying spells and his body shook the whole time. It was so upsetting to everyone concerned that we rarely left him.
We knew something was wrong so we constantly tried to reassure him:

• “I am so lucky to be your mommy.”
• “Thank you for coming to our home.”
• “Mommy and Daddy love having a little boy like you.”

And then there was the night in a motel when my mother experienced a dream-visit from her deceased father, “During the night I dreamed my dad came and stood looking at Jimmy asleep on the floor between us. He said, ‘He is a very special spirit who was aborted by another.’”
Jimmy is age four and one half now. A few nights ago I tucked him in bed with hugs and kisses and closed his door, only to have him call after me to turn on the fan. I went back in and turned on the fan. He said, “Mommy, I thought you’d be mad at me.”
“No, Honey, I’m not mad at you. Is Mommy mad at you a lot or a little?
“Just a little… but Mommy, you’d never kill me ‘cause that would cut me.”
I didn’t know what to say. I reassured him Mommy would never hurt him because we love him so much and we are lucky to have him.
Last night Jimmy snuggled in bed with us as my husband and I talked of having another child. We are hoping for a girl who we have been calling Faith. Jimmy interjected, “I saw Faith last night in my dream. It’s okay for you to have her in your tummy.”
The way he said it brought tears of gratitude. I sensed that this little traumatized soul we love so much finally felt safe enough with us that it was now okay for his little sister to come to my womb.

The media and 4th of July

http://www.bbc.com/travel/gallery/20110701-the-fourth-of-july-back-in-the-day

So I'm on foxnews just a bit ago and I caught on to the 4th of july theme post after newspost. and I started thinking.. oh, ya, cause I'm on fox, I bet if I go to CNN there won't be one damn thing on the 4th.. those godless morons hate this country! lo and behold I was right. Not ONE ding dong dang mention of it! so then I think to go on msnbc and wonder if they do mention the 4th it will be something lame. well lo and behold I was right again.. they did mention it, a post about the science of fireworks!!!! hahahahaahahahahaahaha are you kidding me? NO! So then I think, "I wouldn't be surprised if BBC has something on the 4th! I bet they do" so I go to them and bam! right on one of the scrolling top three stories is a post about the 4th with "Happy Birthday America." how sweet, they thought of us. Even another COUNTRY has taken the time to say something. I can't wait to see how LAME CNN's news is going to be on monday.

Is this a coincidence? I don't think so.. is it because I'm incredibly intuitive and always right?.. well yes, but besides that. The point is there is no surprise here... I don't know how evident it needs to be that these people hate this country. notice the common thread of liberals.. pro socialists, godless, think they are smarter than you, elitist, ashamed of our country/unpatriotic, pro baby killing, disillusioned by an idealistic fantasy of world peace (hahahaha morons are always duped by democrats' peace promises.. they are the only ones that fall for it! lmao the politicians know better) and the list goes on.

Now let's watch the godless socialist european countries implode... starting with Greece.. Spain is next. just a matter of time with us. Too long with peace creates the inevitable false sense of security/liberal mentality mentioned above, which eventually leads to revolution after everyone has nothing in an attempt to supply everyone with everything... and the cycle will continue. Been happening for thousands of years. Stand with God and you will naturally value correct ideals founded on correct principles. without him you are left to the wiles of man.

May Day 2011

Last Wednesday was May Day at Koloa Elementary.. it was a fun day.. well it started out that way. Here's Joey's class admiring Sofia. Poor Jed is feeling left out :(

Here's the 3rd grade performance.

Here's the cuteness..

There's that crinkle nose again..

Jed had some fun times..

Stealing peoples' toys..

Then meltdown..

After meltdown....

after meltdown... here is insists the big boys play basketball with him and loses it when he can't understand why they won't..

Which eventually lead to a temper tantrum that had him flying across the grass, tripping and smacking his face on a curb, giving him this black eye and scrape. Ugh.. needless to say we had to leave early.. I had to take Joey out and bring him home.. he said it ruined his day :( bummer. That is how disruptive and incessent this kid can be. Oh well.. what are you going to do? poor guy.

Cute pic with my kids

LOVE my KitchenAid Pro Mixer!!!

Robin, I love this as much as you love your camera... LOL. I don't know how I survived without it.. I got it for Mother's Day and have used it already for so many things.. batches of cookies, cupcakes, candied walnuts, whipped butter, etc etc.. LOVE IT. This baby is solid.. Love any kitchen gadget.. Joe knows how to make me happy :)

Sofia Grass Shoot 10 mos

Here's some pics of her in our yard I took yesterday..

Love her little "crinkle nose"... adorable.

hehe.. she's thinking, "I'm going to eat this leaf.. and no one is going to stop me."

Sofia My Love

Beautiful.

She'll be 10 months old in 4 days.. words cannot describe how much I love this girl. I have never had a baby nor could I have imagined having a baby who loves me so much and so completely. My boys love me tons but Sofia is just a momma's girl... she crushes me every day. She wants to just be with me all the time. She sits there from across the room and looks at me with those beautiful eyes and smiles and starts crawling towards me. Whenever she's in my arms she's just content and happy with no ambitions... She only tolerates (and I say tolerates kindly) letting people hold her for only quick moments and just looks at me as if to say, "why?" LOL and pushes to be back in my arms.

I love dancing and singing to her and she loves it. She wakes in the morning and before she even opens her eyes she smiles... She's got such a great personality.. so sweet and lovely and proper. She's is so much more than I could have dreamed of.. just crazy about my love and her Daddy is too :) She loves when he gets home from work.. She looks at him smiling and so excitedly and immediately goes for him.. if he passes by without picking her up immediately she will look at me broken hearted.. she's so sweet. He picks her up and she's so happy and grabs his face. Aww little girls.

Sofia at 9 mos... just a sweetie pie.

Always camera ready :)

Here she is waking up in the morning... immediately smiles.

Then crawls towards me...

Then gets shy...

Love my baby girl.

And love my kids!!! Can't wait to have more :)

Note to my Friends and Family on the Nuclear Threat

Is there? Isn't there? What I know for sure is we KNOW nothing for sure. I've been telling friends and family on the mainland to get Iodide as soon as possible.... not to wait till the authorities tell you to. Once that happens, it will be too late. Now, the Surgeon General said to buy it as a precautionary measure. Really? You think?? What a concept. However, I'm glad she said it because to be honest I think she is the only authority in the US being somewhat honest. Why is the government trying to tell us it's not important... and why might I ask is the government instructing doctors not to prescribe it when requested by patients??? You think they might be trying to ration supplies? This could be why.

Potassium Iodide flying off the shelves. Now, you can still but 32.5 mg tablets last time I looked on Amazon. Pay for expedited shipping... Adults need 130 mg per day. Here's info on how much to take. Remember NOT to take it until the authorities tell you... keep yourself updated on information regularly.. this is the best defense. My friend in Escondido was able to order it through her local GNC store that would arrive on Thursday, so that's an option. Keep calling around.

Just in: situation only worsening with 4th reactor fire and radiation leaking directly into the air. Read this!

Now we KNOW that this could easily effect us.. Not only because of Chernobyl, but because of the fact that 2/3 of LA's coal in the atmosphere is from CHINA. Take note people.

Now, I don't want to cause alarm.. but my friend Heidi said they just talked to a friend in Germany, and supposedly there and all over Europe, they are saying there is a very serious threat of nuclear contamination to CA and the US west coast. Why is Europe taking this more seriously and we just have our heads in the sand??? Well, two reasons. One is probably because they don't want to cause panic and mayhem and looting.. which is a good thing and a bad thing. Good because it might cause panic and mayhem and looting (those stupid Americans) and bad because, like, we need to know! The 2nd is because Americans have this eerie way of reacting to things... it's like they really don't believe anything could ever really happen to them. Just lost in there little world and life.. well, things happen.

Do we panic?... HECK NO! Do we get prepared and stay educated? YES. After that, it's God's will. So what will be will be... no reason to panic when you are prepared. Did God throw down magic floatie rafts to Noah and his family??? NO. He had him PREPARE by building a boat. Hello people. Prepared = peace and not prepared = panic. Aka; Noah floating safely in a boat, at peace, and the wicked drowning, panicked.

The way we look at it is human nature is weird and stupid. We think of the movie, Titanic. Remember those fruitcakes getting irritated with having to put on a life vest, sipping cocktails, listening to classical music while the ship was about to go under?? Well, we are like Rose and Frank... eyes opened and ready to get in the safety boats with our life vests on!

Joe and I will ALWAYS error on the side of caution... it's better to error on the side of caution each and every time than to error on the side of tragedy once.

Pray for the Japanese!

Centipedes in my HOUSE!!!!!

EWWWWWWW!!!!

So I was minding my business FINALLY getting around to my American Idol last night with my sister and Aunt in my room when I see a ten inch CENTIPEDE stroll up my hallway into my room! EWWW sucker was HUGE! I freaked out and yelled to get Joe while keeping a frantic eye on him.. I knew we couldn't lose him. As Joe was coming up the hallway he retreated under my aunt's bed in the next room. We searched everywhere! We could not find him.. Tore up the bed, cleaned everything out.. everything we could think of. We even cut the bottom lining of the box-spring mattress! Now he's in the house somewhere and it's just a matter of time for him to come out.. he could even be hiding in the walls, who knows.

Read these stories: the comment stories in particular.. this is why I can't be in the house nor can my baby or Joey... I for one cannot get a shot of epinephrine, obviously! Since we didn't find the guy at all the exterminators have to come in and spray the inside of the house, something they wouldn't do unless a centipede was already in because I'm pregnant.. They still didn't want to spray but since I have a baby they need to and told me I need to stay somewhere for the day... We'll be leaving in a few hours. WHAT A PAIN IN MY ASS! Then she tells me that when we return he will be coming out into the house to die some. "Just shake out your blankets and sheets and towels for the next few days, you know, that kind of thing." what?!! nightmare. This is why I knew we couldn't lost him last night.

In Waimea Joe caught a sucker as big as the one in our house last night.. he cut it in half, guy was still going nuts, so he cut the halves in half! The four of them were still alive like ever.. attacking and crawling all over each other. It was a disgusting sight. I took pics.. It took them about 4 hours to die!!!

Point: Centipedes are HARD to kill!

Crazy about skincare!

Since I turned 18 I came to the conclusion that aging is inevitable.. and that no matter how young I was, it was NOT going to last forever. So from that point on I've been crazy about aging myself, especially where skin is concerned!

I just took this pic today, no makeup or concealer with a little mascara. I have moisturizer and lip balm on. I'm not sure how to compare my skin to other 27/28 year olds but I think it's okay. All I know is what I've believed since I was 18 and that is prevention is key! While other girls were tanning in the sun like nobody's business, I was wearing SPF 50 and hats. Today you won't catch me at the beach without a hat. My Mom told me not to make the same mistake she did and I took it to heart.

I've also searched for and used good moisturizers and eye creams religiously and over the years have developed (and learned by beauticians, estheticians, articles, etc) a set of rules that I try and live by and believe in. I thought I'd share them with you :)

A. Suncare

Here's the most important tip for being in the sun - don't get any!!! This is something that many celebrities lives by. Tan your body once in a while but not like a nut. I do but when it comes to my face down to my decolletage you better believe it's covered girlfriends! My husband loves a tan look and face but I say, "Sorry honey, You'll thank me when I'm older!" haha

SPF isn't enough unless you're in the water... you need a hat. Baseball caps, as cute as they are aren't good enough. You need a wide rimmed hat- they cover not only the bottom of your face and sides but your chest and neck.. sensitive areas that wrinkle easy in older age. Have fun with these hats.. they're cute and with glasses on you will look like Jackie O. I keep one always in the back of my car under the glass so it's out of the way. I also wear one while gardening. Joe makes fun of me and says I look like I'm going to the races, "Pooh pooh" I always say.. "and have fun with your wrinkles. "

If you go swimming, even if you are wearing waterproof sunscreen, try and take a second to reapply real quick. They actually suggest that anyway.

WEAR SUNGLASSES as much as you can outside and driving! Glasses prevent you from squinting which causes unnecessary creases over time while also protecting your eyes.

Lastly, when you want a tan face, it's best to go with a self tanner that is healthy for the skin and builds up over time, not a tanner that you smear on and wash off. Yuck. Also, great ways to have some color is a good bronzed mineral powder by Bare Minerals or others and/or tinted moisturizers. The best is Kiehl's Tinted Moisturizer with SPF 15. Don't worry about the price too much, it lasts forever and is amazing. Your face will glow. This would be for low-maintenance people- a great daily moisturizer and a hint of color. Boom. Almost every make-up artist uses Kiehl's moisturizer as a base.

B. Healthcare

There are only a few things I'm going to mention before I go to internal care, which mainly focuses on what you put in your body.

1. Sleep

I cannot emphasize enough how important sleep is to your health, as well as your looks. There is nothing you can do that will more immediately make you look aged than lack of sleep. It will show in your face quickly and over time age you more and more rapidly. Why? Because your body is not getting a chance to recuperate and heal itself. Whether we are aware of it or not, because of toxins entering our bodies in various ways, our body are in a constant state of healing. While we sleep our bodies are able to channel the majority of our energy to this healing. Lack of sleep not only shows up in your face and depleted energy but we will find that we will get more easily sick with various infections, both internal and external, viruses, disease, etc. Do not underestimate sleep.

I know that with kids it can be hard to get adequate sleep. But with kids everything is hard. It really just has to do with your priorities. If it's important to you, you can find a way. Get creative; sleep when the kids sleep or nap, etc. When you are tired, your body is telling you it needs to sleep. Listen to your body, it knows best. And when you are tired constantly for too long periods, you should start to think you may need to change some things around. When Joey was born, he had a reflux problem... this caused him to projectile vomit after every feeding for 3 months. Needless, to say for the first 6 weeks or so I literally didn't get ANY sleep.. no exaggeration. I was paranoid and schitzo and beyond comprehension. I remember my Mother visiting one day and took a look at me.. her eyes widened and she said, "Taylor! You have aged literally 7 years!" She was right.. my eyes were blood shot and green and dark underneath and my skin looked aged. I will never forget how lack of sleep had that major effect on my appearance.

If your body is able to heal and repair itself as it should, your face will be well rested and refreshed. Bottom line. Where do you think the term Beauty Sleep came from???

2. De-Stress

Stress shows in your face and life can be hectic.. find what relaxes you and try and take the time out to give it to yourself as regularly as possible. Whether it be meditation, yoga, reading a book while taking a bath, taking a walk alone, mani-pedis, whatever! Just try and do it for yourself. Any form of TV is hectic on the brain so I hope that isn't your form of relaxation. In fact, keep the TV watching to a minimum and you'll find that chaotic energy running through your house will diminish.

3. Weight Gain

Yo-yo dieting is very hard on your skin. Gaining and losing weight, especially RAPIDLY stretches out your skin and stresses it. Put simply, you lose elasticity. Try and maintain a healthy weight for you and stick to it. Go with a good sensible diet and exercise regimen that you can stick to. It's really that simple. You should do that anyway.

C. Internal Care

Taking care of what's inside manifests on the outside my friends. This is crucial and should not be overlooked when taking precautions with aging.

1. Supplements

You should regularly take at least Vitamin C & E supplements. These are strong antioxidants that will work from the inside out. Multivitamins in addition are good of course.

Some sort of anti-oxidant drink like those Mona-Vie drinks are always a good idea. I just use an Acai drink from Costco... These are great because it's potent and easy to get in your daily antioxidants. Pay attention to the ORAC units.. look for 3500 per serving. ORAC is the measurement for antioxidant levels in a food. The more you can get into your body, the better. Let me go over what happens real quick so you can understand why it's so important. Toxins are basically unstable molecules called free-radicals- they are unstable because they are missing a hydrogen atom. This instability causes them to search for hydrogen atoms anywhere they can find in your body. This is called the Oxidation-Reduction Reaction or the REDOX Reaction. Another word for it is AGING! Once the free-radical is successful, the molecule they took that atom from is now itself unstable. Once that cell reproduces it will do so as a degenerate cell.

Enough accumulated cells like these grouped together and this causes disease and cancer. But well before this the process is simply aging you (or turning over your cells), both naturally and prematurely, depending on how you take care of your body. This is why I always refer to foods high in antioxidants as anti-aging foods. (At least I was able to remember something from school!)

Here's a good ORAC Value site.

2. HYDRATE

Drink tons of water.. I think everyone knows how vital this is to your health and well-being, but also for our looks. Lack of hydration shows up in your face for sure. Hydrating also makes it possible for your skin to renew and look rejuvenated and supple.

Try and avoid sugary drinks or sodas... stick to water as much as possible.. does more harm and you may neglect drinking all the water you need.

3. Don't Smoke or Drink

Yeah, that's right I said don't smoke or drink. Smoking is such an obvious common sense thing for most people so I don't think I need to explain too much here... don't make yourself look ugly please. Smoking makes you look downright UGLY. Pock marks, pigmentation, bad teeth and breath, the whole enchilada. Like, don't be stupid.

Drinking for some reason just isn't as easy for people to get. Let me tell you that drinking rapidly ages you more than anything else, right up there with smoking and drugs. Nothing is worse. When people claim to eat healthy and organically but drink I just laugh to myself. Like who do they think they are kidding? Not me. I am educated enough to know that toxins are toxins are toxins. Whether they are coming from McDonald's crap food or Doritos or Diet Coke or a gin and tonic, they mean the same thing on a molecular level to your aging.. just in a MUCH higher potency. Bad fats and cholesterol are a different story that targets other health issues. We are talking about aging here. Even if you drink, eating healthy is still an important part of life for a myriad of other reasons, but I feel it's important to address drinking here so you aren't under any kind of assumption that you are taking care of internal care with respects to aging... only doing the opposite. Alcohol is pure poison, pure toxic. You're better off eating junkity junk foods.. they will never add up to the damages alcohol will do to your face!

Do you know what is happening when you drink? When you drink, alcohol is running through your entire blood stream as you know, wreaking havoc. Being buzzed means the alcohol or toxins or unstable molecules are literally aging you all over. That is essentially what is happening. It is oxidizing your body.

A few years ago when I was 25 I met a few girls at a get together.. after a few minutes we realized that we all went to Newport Harbor High School. I didn't know them and I am usually pretty good with age, I estimated they were about 30 and thought they might have graduated in 95'. When they told me they graduated in 2000 with ME, I couldn't believe it! They easily looked 30. They were normal girls, definitely didn't get into any drugs, had good jobs and didn't smoke. They only thing that was different between us was the years of casual/social drinking they had on their side.. it all adds up baby. Even just a few drinks a week will add up in the years to come. Eat all the anti-aging food you want, you can't undo (fight off with food) what alcohol does to your body.

There have been two times in my life I lost my mind and went on a silly partying rampage. I did nothing that is out of the ordinary - just social drinking. They both lasted just three months and at the end of both of them I noticed a HUGE different in my face from before I started drinking. Needless to say I freaked out.. I couldn't believe what I saw and what I was doing to my body! I did major damage control and was able to fight off the lines around my eyes.. boy am I happy I was able to notice that. Huge difference.

Don't give me the "But I drink a glass of wine for my heart and anti-oxidants." Save it for someone stupid. Yes, the antioxidants in the wine are good for you but it doesn't change the ALCOHOL also contained in the wine.. still oxidizing, aging you in the process... Obviously.

I have to say I enjoy the comments I get about looking young for my age, even though I'm only 27 (28 in a few months).. and I attribute a lot of it to NOT drinking. Do your youth a favor and keep it by not putting poison in your body. Don't be fooled by beautiful partying celebrities.. you better believe they REGULARLY get botox, vitamin and collagen injections as well as face work. They also spend A LOT of money on professional facials.

4. Diet

Food is so important... here's another awesome reason to eat healthy- it keeps you looking young! (As long as you're not drinking). Foods high in anti-oxidants as I have already noted, will help your body stay young by fighting off what ages you. You will feel better and look better as a result. Go and check out this site or another one like it to remember the foods that are best for you. I used to bring baggies of an antioxidant medley to work with me every day. They were of red and blue berries, prunes, grapes and red bell peppers. I just snacked on them at my desk.

Organic is the way to go! Anything that is artificial or refined or chemically is in some way or another toxic. It's really that simple.. I don't think I need to explain much here. If in the ingredients are things you can't pronounce, skip it. Skip refined flours and sugars and breads and pastas.. stick to whole wheat. White means refined and bleached. By now honestly I think the majority of people are pretty well educated to know what is healthy and what is junk!

Eat healthy fruits and veggies.. fresh is best! The more the merrier.

D. SkinCare

Aaahhh, what you've probably been waiting for! My favorite.. I love my products! I'm going to go over the best regimen to prevent professional and expensive sessions. I'm not going to push products as much as I'm going to give an outline to guide you. This will be categorized with the key steps for a beautiful face.

1. Exfoliating

Exfoliating is VERY important. This is too often overlooked. It refines your face and scrubs off dead skin cells to rejuvenate your cells and stimulate renewal. There are two forms that both need to be used. Do not use either form of exfoliation while you are using any Retinol or Retin-A products.

a. Chemical peels - some peels might say "fruit enzyme" peel and that's okay.. it's all (glycolic) acid. You want this! Rule of thumb is you never want to use a peel that is used over night or for any period of time over 10 minutes. You are looking for something that tingles a little (even itches slightly) and needs to be washed off in about 3 minutes. Anything more doesn't WORK. Some peels can be used every other day and some should only be used once a week. Either is okay as long as the time period doesn't last over 10 minutes. If you don't feel anything when the product is on, use it up and move on to another product. You want to feel something. After at least a few times using this you should see a noticeable result.. skin should be a little glowy and/or smoother complexion.

I use Peter Thomas Roth Unwrinkle Peel Pads. These are great pads I can use every other day.

I've also used L'Oreal Glycolic Anti-aging Peel Kit and it works awesome. I was highly impressed, can't find it here on Kauai. You will save money with this one (should be able to find it at any pharmacy type store). You can use it every two or three months. I'm gonna order this and use it every three months with the Peter Thomas Roth pads in between.

b. Microdermabrasion - Oooh.. this is good. Great news is you don't need to pay for $200 sessions. Neutrogena Microdermabrasion At Home Kit is amazing. 5 times using this equals one professional use. You use this initially for 5 days in a row then every other day or as much as you like. This really works! I've used this for years and swear by it. It really makes a noticeable difference. (I've seen it for cheaper than Amazon at Walmart and those stores so I don't know what to say about that.) Use this on your hands, neck and decolletage as well.

c. Daily Scrubs - Find a daily face wash/scrub that you like and use it in the morning. I use Philosophy Microdelivery Exfoliating Wash.. Best I've ever used. By far. One bottle has lasted me about 7 months.

2. Daily Regimen

a. Face Wash

This is easy.. Find a wash you like that is clean and makes your face feel fresh and pure when rinsed. The best I've ever used is Philosophy Purity Made Simple. Just luxurious. This bottle will last me over 7 months.. haven't finished it yet. Goes a long way. Wash at night and use your scrub in the morning.

Do NOT use any astringents.. they dry out your face which is the worst thing you can do, unless you want wrinkles. They are damaging more than anything.. if you need to balance your ph out cause you're breaking out, astringents will put you in a never ending cycle. Instead, try and find the right products that aren't causing breakouts and work with your skin tone. If you do break out once in a while, the best skin clearing medication is The Body Shop's Tea Tree Blemish Night Fade Lotion... Zaps em'. Toners are a waste of money.. skip them.

b. Moisturizing

This is absolutely KEY! Your skin MUST be hydrated at all times!!!

In the morning use your daily moisturizer with an SPF 15 at least. Daily moisturizer should be a moisturizer primarily and you don't need to think of it as a treatment. This should keep you hydrated all day, which is key. Do not ever skip out on your daily moisturizer. There are many good ones out there but I use Olay Regenerist UV Cream SPF 25. Olay has the least expensive for the best anti-aging products.

Night time moisturizer should be thicker, like a cream. If you have any treatment-like products that you like to use, night is the time, under your cream. I use Olay Regenerist Micro-Sculpting Cream.

Key: Try and find a moisturizer or cream with collagen and elastin it. Very important to prevent and repair aging skin.

Truly there are so many moisturizers and creams out there these days that do a wonderful job. But if you are going to go with something besides Olay, you will need to go with a higher line to beat or meet the effects. My friend just told me that she's been using Estee Lauder Resilience Lift Extreme and that she's seen real results fast with it.

Now I'm nuts about moisturizing and in addition to my anti-aging serum, my organic coconut oil and my cream, I use Replens... yes that's right, the 'long lasting personal lubricant' on my face! I smear that stuff on top of my cream like no one's business. Now where did I get this crazy idea you say? Oprah, like 5 years ago.. it was a special with women in their 50's who looked amazing with no work done. The most beautiful woman of them all was 50 (she looked a great 40) and was suggested by her dermatologist to use Replens since she was 20. She swore by it and I can honestly say that it works. It leaves a thick layer on your face but for some odd reason it doesn't break you out ever. It's so thick. Because of that layer, it's not for everyone but what this product is essentially is high concentrations of plain moisturizing ingredients.. nothing more. Just in case, I called a friend who worked at a dermatologists office and went through every single ingredient with her - all harmless and unweird.

c. Serums

A good anti-aging serum is one thing you should spend money on. I use one by a line called SkinMedica. A high line used by a lot of estheticians. Another good line is Perricone MD. Philosophy and other well known high lines like Estee Lauder and others will also have great serums. Check ratings online before you commit. If you will absolutely not fork out for one, Garnier and Olay both have good ones. If you can afford to use the higher line product in the morning and evening, great, if not, use it at night and a less expensive one like Olay in the morning under your moisturizer.

Key: If you can, try and find a serum with hyaluronic acid.. the best moisturizing ingredient out there. Epicuren has one! Moisture Surge it's called. And Peter Thomas Roth has one.

I use SkinMedica TNS Recovery Complex. I get it on eBay for $100. This little bottle you see here gets rid of fine lines.. they use this amazing patented stuff called Nutricel MD. Wow. I use it at night and Olay in the am. SkinMedica is a wonderful line.. all of their products are great! You really can't go wrong. I just use this one cause I don't want to spend so much money. I'm going to use this in conjunction with a hyaluronic acid serum.

d. Antioxidants

For the face, this is also important.. try and find either a product that contains vitamins C and E or get an oil. Philosophy is all over this. They have a Vitamin C Powder you mix with whatever you want. They also have omega oils (I really liked this stuff) for the face.. I use both of these, not regularly though, and use organic coconut oil that I put in an oil vial that was used up. Coconut oil is wonderful for anti-aging!!!

e. Masks

Use a good hydrating mask once a week. I use Peter Thomas Roth Super Rish Moisture Mask.

In addition, if you like you can use other kinds of mask that you may like. There are so many types; refining, clarifying, detoxing, etc. Detoxing might be a good idea but I really don't see the need for others.

f. Eyes

Apply eye cream as if your life depended on it day and night... like it is nobody's business! Just smear that baby on!!! I don't have a favorite here.. right now I'm just using the Olay Regenerist eye cream. Read reviews for the best products.. there are a lot of good eye creams out there. If you have the dough, use SkinMedica or Perricone MD.

g. Lips

Lips are important too cause if you let them go dry and chapped and never use sunscreen you will find little wrinkles at the top edge of your lips before you know it. Use a long lasting balm at night and one with an SPF during the day. Or just use the day one at night if it lasts, that's what I do. If you do this regularly, you shouldn't have to reapply during the day.

So let's recap your skincare regimen:

1. Exfoliate regularly

2. Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize

3. Invest in a good anti-aging serum

4. Use antioxidants

5. Use SUNSCREAN and cover your face in the sun!

6. Use a daily scrub and clean face wash

7. Don't forget EYES and lips

SOME DONTS:

Do not use products such as Strivectin SD that miraculously work wonders instantly... this also applies to "line fillers". Soon after applying Strivectin SD and others like it, your skin will look noticeably smoother, supple and filled out, even getting rid of wrinkles. So what's the problem? It's very temporary.. lasts only a while so this might be a good idea for an event where you want to look really good. But essentially what is happening is your skin is getting filled in and stretching out, causing your skin to lose elasticity. Over a period of time, not long, you will only make your wrinkles worse!

Do not use cheap cheap products.. you are wasting your money honey. I promise you. PROMISE. I know it makes you feel good at the cash register but it ain't doing squat so save your $8 for something that will actually work.

Don't use all natural products.... um, real sorry to break it to you but they don't work!

Watch out for an ingredient called Mineral Oil. It tells you the product is very cheap and will most definitely break you out.

Boy, I hope someone read this.

Don't be overwhelmed by this list.. I've accumulated these things over a period of time and a lot of bad purchases. The best thing to do is start somewhere.. just choose what you think will best suit your needs and start with that one thing.. then build up slowly over time.

Top Performer of 2009!I

I'm so proud of my husband... 2009 was hard for a lot of people and Joe was able to rise above a lot of negativity through it all. We have so much to be thankful for and I'm so thankful to Joe for working so hard for our family.. and to God for making it possible and his grace. For the award ceremony at his site, he took EVERY SINGLE sales award, number 1. Joe put a lot of hours into work... hard work and good attitude pays off. It's that simple.

Today he brought home this framed letter from the president of Marriott.

Hopefully if you want to read it you can if you click on it.

Proud of my Hubby... he deserves this credit!

Jed Walking at 10 mos...

My Little Missionary

My little guy is such a good little missionary. He's always had this sort of natural conviction of God I noticed since he could talk.

When we were in CA this last time in May, we were out to dinner with my Aunt and her husband (catholic). He started to ask some questions about the church and tells us that my aunt doesn't really tell him anything. Joey was sitting next to him and picked up on our conversation. He steps right in without hesitation and says, "Well, this is the deal. Joseph Smith asked God which Church was true and God told him they were all wrong and that He would raise His true church on the through him. Then God had him translate the Book of Mormon so we would know it is true when you read it." I was just sitting across the table in shock! For one thing, we never told him that story so he picked it all up in primary. And another thing, I don't think 50% of members could articulate that story so quick and accurately. Well then!

The other day, we were sitting at the beach eating a snow-cone. Joey tells me how sad he was that his friend, Ethan, doesn't believe in God. I was like, "Really? That's sad." I wasn't really focused cause I was feeding the baby but then I heard, "..and then I went and prayed." I was like, come again? "what?" he said, "I prayed." "what did you pray for?" He said, "I prayed that Ethan and his family would believe in God."............. I wanted to die. This is my only desire for my children, that they will walk in faith, seek righteous desires, being mindful of God and find favor with Him. Of course I wouldn't want my kid to be a bum on the street or a crazy person, but there really isn't anything more I desire of my children. To me, it's the only thing that matters. If nothing else, I want for my boys to be servants of God. Of course, their life is theirs and there are no certainties. When we got to the car, I asked him why he prayed for them. He goes, "well, for one thing I wouldn't want to be his friend if he doesn't." LOL... I about died. I said, "Of course you should be friends with him, but do you want them to feel the love you have felt from God?" he goes, "yes, and I want them to one day be able to go to the temple." OH MY GOODNESS....

I know it seems we talk a lot about these things in the home but the truth is we don't. He comes up with these ideas on his own. Which is why it's so impressive to me. We say prayers and read our scriptures (not as consistently I'm afraid as we should) and other than church and his occasional question, that's about it.

One day when he was just about to turn 4 years old in CA, I picked him up from preschool and I noticed he was seemed very depressed holding up his face in his hand and looking out the window. I said, "what is the matter honey?" He said, "Jason doesn't believe in GOD." Very upset about it... "I was talking about God and he said that he doesn't believe in God. How can someone not believe in God?? How?" He gave me this unbelieving look on his face and was very distraught over it. I explained to him that he will meet many people throughout his life that won't share his beliefs and that's apart of this life. We all have the right to choose right from wrong, truth from lies. He understood but was still pretty upset about this new and crazy notion of 'not believing in God.' How sweet and innocent.

One day he wanted to talk about what you do in life.. what the plans are. This was at the same age. Very interesting I thought for a nearly 4 year old to contemplate these things. So I went over school, mission if he chooses, college, marriage, etc. So he went over it with me so he could understand it... he mentioned his Mission with a little excitement in his voice. I said, "Joey, if you faithfully go on your mission, Mom, Dad and God will be very proud of you." He thought about it for a moment and goes, "I'll Make you all proud." and looks out the window. I wanted to melt. Luckily he has a military-minded Dad who teaches him that sense of duty to God and Country which is necessary.

When we were sealed in the San Diego Temple... I'll never forget the reverence in which Joey came into the sealing room with the Baby. Dressed in white and so beautiful and quiet. He kneeled at the altar with a beyond his years countenance about him. It was as if he just 'knew'. I was absolutely in awe. I don't think I will ever see that again! haha... Later when Joe asked him what his favorite time in California was (including tons of fun things, Disneyland and seeing his cousins and friends) he said, "Well, the Temple." like.. .of course. Joe asked him what it was about the temple and he said, "The prayer that was said." I wanted to die when Joe told me this.. because I wasn't even paying attention to the prayer(not to say I wasn't paying attention or that the prayer was boring, but I was emotionally pretty overwhelmed) .. and here's this little 6 year old listening so attently.

Just so proud...

Why I'm always waiting for a call!

Oh, you have to click on the pics to see them.

This is why... I get so worried when he goes surfing! I hate the summer cause there's a south shore swell during the summer and that's where Joe works. He doesn't even have to go out of the way to get in danger... these waves are literally outside his office! No joke.

It also doesn't help that he had a realistic dream the other night that he died surfing! And also came home a week ago completely gashed on his side when a wave slammed him into a reef. He was lucky it wasn't his head! He actually rode a wave after that to get out of the ocean! And did it deter him? no, he was back in the water the next morning all bandaged up from his armpit to his butt! I can't tell you how many times I've had to open him up to tweeze out some reef particles (they KILL you until they come out) and bandaged him up. He has scars all over.

So far, I have to admit I'm a little relieved Joey is not ready to go out...

But, I'm glad he gets to do something he loves. Proud of you honey!

The 3 Single Most Important Things...

The single most important thing you can have in this life is a family.  This is ultimately one of the greatest purposes of life...  to build a family under God and carry on with them through eternity, only made possible through the Atonement of Christ.

The single most important thing you can be in this life is a Disciple of Christ.  Being a true disciple is by following Him, sharing His teachings with others, loving Him and others more than we love ourselves, seeking for righteousness and serving others.  Christianity is LOVE in action Charity is the pure love of Christ.

The single most important thing you can believe in the life is in our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  That He died for us and loves us to no end.  That only because of His infinite, atoning sacrifice, can we be made whole and return to live with Him again in our Father's kingdom.  He is our Creator and Author of the Universe.  Nothing gets to the Father but by and through Him.  To even pray to the Father we must do so in his name - To utter his very name is the power to borrow from the atonement to come before God as sinners in prayer.  How miraculous!  

There are simply no more important things than these.

This is my favorite song:  Here are the lyrics and the music in on the following attachment.

  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRo8PW7--cs&feature=related

Kissee kissee

Dang he's cute.. I just needed an excuse to post more pics of him.. hehe!

Today a little girl tried to kiss him and apparently Joey told her to 'back off', which I believe cause that is so his personality!  Girls are always after him so he just has this 'too cool for school' attitude with them - which makes them want him more.  Of course I asked him a bunch of questions just to make sure that he wasn't the one trying anything funny.  You can never be too sure.   I pulled all the stops but it was just a "NO".  He said he didn't want to cause he already likes a girl.. ah, how cute of him to be faithful!  lol

Once I knew he was mellow, I told him that the next time a girl tries to kiss him he shouldn't hurt her feeling by saying things like, "back off!"  He should just say politely, "I don't want to because I think we are too young to be kissing."  

Joey just rolled his eyes and goes, "chh, you are so akward, Mom."

haha.... I couldn't help but laugh!  He just cracks me up.